3. union bargaining — I don’t actually have to do anything, but as one of my department’s union stewards, I like to go to our union bargaining sessions and make serious face at the university’s bargaining team.
This morning’s conversation with myself:
Self: Hey, Martina, it’s warm out! You can eschew tights! Rejoice!
Me: Great idea, self! Let’s wear that one blue dress we love.
Self: Superb! And let’s layer something cute underneath it.
Me: Oh, but I already wore it with that one shirt that one time. What else could I possibly wear with it?
Self: Martina, jeez. Come on! You know what you can wear with that dress? ANYTHING!
Me: [insert maniacal cackling here] True, self. Very true… [Burns-esque finger tapping]