friendly Friday: thanks

Every week or so, I participate in Fashion Beauty Friend Friday hosted by Katy Rose at Modly Chic. This week, as our pre-Thanksgiving gears get working, Katy’s asked us to think about what we’re thankful for…

1. supportive blog friends who know exactly how miserable the PhD process can be sometimes and are always kind, cheerful, and ego-rejuvenating (looking at youBiblioMOMia)
2. having the kind of family that totally lets you have a long cry over the phone on occasion
3. my office mate Kate, who does stuff like make me coffee and listen to me rant and drive me places and let me be “Aunt” Martina to her son and give me unbelievable advice and basically help me survive
4. my “camp wife” grad school friend Katherine who does stuff like bring me grapes and talk about / make up musicals with me and gossip about students with me and have crazy dance parties with me (in costume!) and drive me home from our evening class because she worries about me and basically help me survive
5. my amazing grad school friends who constantly remind me that I’m in the right field
6. my friends from college who constantly remind me that I have a life outside of grad school
7. my friends from childhood who constantly remind me that I have a past that informs my future in beautiful ways
8. coffee
9. podcasts that make my daily commute totally fun — nothing is better than listening to Dan Savage give smutty advice while sitting next to nice older ladies
10. the week off from being a student that I have coming up (it’s not really a “week” in the strictest sense, but calling it that makes me feel better)
11. the knowledge that the term is almost over and vacation time is almost here
12. the HUGE DIY Holiday Gift Bonanza that I’m planning
13. just-for-fun books that I’ll soon get to read
14. students who are improving and trying really hard and learning
15. students who have enough faith in me as their teacher that they’re following me to the next class in the sequence instead of finding a new teacher
16. professors who support my research and make me feel smart and encourage me and show me where I need to improve
17. coffee
18. the USPS — I love getting my mail and am pretty sure that those folks don’t get nearly enough credit for the fact that I continue to get it all
19. really good hard cider, freshly brewed just a few towns away and on tap at my neighborhood pub
20. El Boyfriend, who doesn’t always know the “right” thing to do, but always asks how he can help, which is the best way to do that “right” thing
21. El Boyfriend, who makes me dinner sometimes when I’m feeling particularly beset by the Grumpitus
22. El Boyfriend, who does the dishes without even being asked
23. El Boyfriend, who sometimes makes me late because he just needs a few more minutes of snuggling in bed in the morning
24. coffee

And finally, last but the opposite of least, the BRAND NEW baby girl that El Boyfriend’s sister brought into the world yesterday. She doesn’t have a name yet, but I’m pretty sure that the world’s already a more magical place because she’s in it. I can barely wait the four weeks till we meet her and can’t wait to be her sort-of-Aunt-type-person!

friendly friday: bookworm

Once a week, Katy Rose over at Modly Chic asks the members of the Fashion and Beauty Friend group to mull over some questions. This week’s topic threw me into a tizzy:

Top 5 Favorite Books of All Time — this is a tough question for this kid! So here are the books I come back to, again and again, and always find a new wealth of meaning in:

1. The Road by Cormac McCarthy. As many of you know, I’m a PhD student in literature. What you might not know is that my specialty is American novels and folklore, and my sub-specialty, my particular area of interest, is in literary representations of the postapocalypse. I write extensively on The Road and credit it with changing my opinion of how contemporary fiction works and what it can do. I love this dark, twisted, fiercely loving book and though I don’t always recommend it to people (you know, my grandma might not need to read about cannibals and catamites), I will always defend it as a stunning piece of fiction.
2. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. It’s spectacular and there’s a reason it’s a classic. Just read it and allow your mind to be blown.
3. American Gods by Neil Gaiman. As someone who is very interested in the way myth and folklore shape belief and shape identity, this hilarious and insightful story about American belief and American religion is just this side of perfect. Plus, did I mention funny? It’s funny. Really funny. But also sad, sweet, kind, egalitarian, wise, and kaleidoscopic.
4. Last Chance to See by Douglas Adams. Sometimes, the bleakest quests require some humor, levity, and grace to break down our self-protective impulses. I didn’t want to read about the world’s most endangered animals. I didn’t want to see the ways we’re destroying our world. But Adams’ humor broke down my walls and made me laugh as I learned, made me pay attention to something I would otherwise turn away from in fear, shame, and disgust.
5. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. I know: you read it in high school, you hated the language, and you filed it away in the “check that off the list of 100 best books of all time” zone of your brain. Or maybe you, too, loved it. I hope so! Because it’s funny — so so funny — and has a beautiful heart, a thrilling mystery, and endearing, enduring characters. I hope you don’t know the twist surprise before you read it, because my first time through, I actually gasped when Pip’s secret was revealed to him. And that, friends, is an accomplishment.

Top 5 Most Recent Books I’ve Read and Loved — just a smattering of some recent best of:

1. Okay, I’ve talked about America Pacifica by Anna North in this space before, but my love for this book grows every time I think about it. Serisouly, just do yourself a favor and read it; you won’t see the world in the same way any more, but you’ll be glad of the change.
2. Stuff by Randy O Frost and Gail Steketee. Really? A book about compulsive hoarding and the psychological research into our connection with things? That’s going to be a good read? Yes, skeptical brain that almost made me pass on this, it will be an amazing read.
3. Soft Apocalypse by Will McIntosh. This one surprised me. It’s not always perfect and there are times when I didn’t really care about the romantic angle that McIntosh took. But in all, the book’s focus on the personal lives of people undergoing radical change and radically undermined expectations while the world around them collapses in a “soft” apocalypse is a unique and compelling perspective on the postapocalyptic genre (do you see a theme in the books I like?).
4. Manhattan Transfer by John Dos Passos. You will not expect to like this book. You will. Or, who knows — maybe you won’t. This book doesn’t care, because it seeks to recreate the alienation of modernity via narrative experimentation. But if you’re like me, you’ll yearn to find your way through that alienation to real human connections that seem at times to be so futile, so impossible.
5. Not that recent of a read, but still: I lovedlovedloved Mary Roach’s Bonk. I’ve in fact loved everything she’s written, but this one is my favorite. Why? Well, I think the subtitle says it all: “the curious coupling of science and sex.” No matter what your comfort level with issues of sex and sexuality is, the occasional TMI moment is well worth the uncomfortable laughter and wide-mouthed shock this book will give you.

Okay, friends, your turn: what should I read over winter break?

friendly Friday: Hallowee-can’t-wait-n

Every once in a while, when the moon is in the right phase, I participate in the FBFF Friend Friday hosted by Katy Rose of Modly Chic. This week’s topic was irresistible to me, because Katy says that she’s “a little obsessed with Halloween, so in the spirit of
getting ready for the event” she’s asking us all to think about “a Halloween themed questions series.”

1. Do you have plans for Halloween? What will you dress up as this
year? Okay, full disclosure on this one: I take Halloween super seriously. The thing is, Halloween is my birthday, so it’s a pretty important day to me. It’s also one of the only holidays that, as a kid, I shared with everyone in my community because I’m Jewish and most of America, well, isn’t; so having a holiday that didn’t mean missing school and going to synagogue without any of my school friends understanding what we were doing was a pretty big deal to me. So this year, I’m dressing up as Maria from The Sound of Music and my friends are throwing me a birthday party that will involve karaoke, the handing out of treats to youngsters, and the drinking of delicious mulled cider.

My best friend Julia and I carved this bad boy my senior year in high school. I still think fondly about it, but I’m working on carving an even better pumpkin this weekend.

2. Where do you go for costume and makeup inspiration? I’m a musicals and performances gal all the way. Last year I was Sally Bowles (from Cabaret) and in the past I’ve been the Wicked Witch (pre-Wicked, though), a drag queen, and The Raven. I take this all to a pretty nerdy level.

Last year, as Sally Bowles, performing “Mein Heir” if I remember correctly (which is unlikely given how many birthday drinks I’d enjoyed by that time).

In college, as The Raven; this nerd went not as the bird, but as the whole poem. I still totally wear that Raven headband around the house sometimes just to see what El Boyfriend will do (or if he’ll notice).

3. What was the best costume you’ve ever donned? Though I believe that this year’s costume might be one of my best, my senior year of college, I went as ChiChis L’Jew, my drag queen alter-ego, and it was pretty spectacular.

Oh, ChiChis, you were a loveable trainwreck. There are definitely photos from later in the night wherein ChiChis is on the table, singing Cabaret (I know what I like, okay?) and doing the Cancan by herself. I’m really trying to pretend that ChiChis acts according to her own will, but the truth is that she just lets me unleash my absurdly theatrical side. She’s sort of my Jenna Maroney…

4. What’s the most creative costume you’ve ever seen? Hmm. This is a toughie, because I really love costumes in all their forms, but I’d say that the prize goes to my childhood friend Amy and I, who did paired costumes for years when we were kids. One year we were ketchup and mustard, one year we were grapes (me) and a bottle of wine (her), one year we were a camera with a working flash (her) and the resulting picture (me, in lots of fun poses), and one year we were a mailbox (her) and a letter (me). They were always so much fun (though hard to get into and out of for potty breaks!) We sadly don’t have any digital prints of this, but I’m working on it diligently.
5. No holds barred if you could dress up as anything, what would it
be? Cher circa “Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves.” And I would sing. And it would be glorious.

Okay, friends, now I want to know: what’s your Halloween plan this year, what costume will you be wearing, and what’s your favorite costume of all time?

friendly Friday: advisory

Once in a while (or every week, if we’re being technical), Katy from Modly Chic poses a question to the Fashion Beauty Friend Friday group and we all mull it over. This week, she’s asking for us to share the best piece of advice we ever received. Here goes!

1. “Courage isn’t comfy” – my mother tells me this every time the going gets tough and I need to be reminded that forging ahead, even if it’s hard, is better than staying stuck in neutral.

Thanks for it all, Momma.

2. “You can be better” – El Boyfriend reminds me of this daily. Sometimes it’s hard to hear, like when I really don’t want to be better and instead just want to wallow (or not do the dishes, depending on the day), but it’s always true. No matter what I’m doing or where I am, he sees the best in me and lets me know that he believes I can be better.

3. “You do not have to be good” – Mary Oliver’s poem “Wild Geese” gets me through the day every day. Just read it. I might be able to be better, but I don’t have to be good.

friendly Friday: Falling in

Every week, the Fashion Beauty Friend Friday group comes together under the guidance of Katy Rose and answers some questions as a group. This week, as September explodes us into fall, we’re all talking about our “five favorite fashion trends and how [we] plan to wear them this season.”

Fall is to me (and many other academics) as January is to most folks: it’s the beginning of the year, the start of the new and the end of the old. For me, it means a pretty big lifestyle shift. All summer, even when I was in the classroom, I’ve been casual, comfortable, and not too worried about how I dress. But in a few weeks, I’ll not only be in the classroom as a student again: I’ll also be standing up in front of a class again — and this time it’ll be as an instructor in my own right, not as a TA, and that adds a whole new wrinkle to my wardrobe choices. So my fall choices are as follows:

(1) Classic Wellie-style rain boots to survive the return of Oregon rain

(2) Menswear inspired looks (that don’t lose their femininity) for teaching

(3) Classic cuddly sweaters

(4) Slouchy knit hats (I make these myself!)

(5) colors colors colors!

daily dose: a favorite piece

Tasks
1. retail me once again!

Trappings

jeans — Loft, thrifted and refashioned tee — target scarf — fair trade store in Berkeley belt — F21 shoes — Old Navy

Tales

Today’s outfit is built around my favorite item, this scarf:

Yeah, that scarf. The one I’m totally not wearing like a scarf. You’re all with me, right?

You may have seen it before. You’ll definitely see it again. I love it. This is one of my most favorite of my scarf collection and moreover one of my most favorite possessions. It’s one of the first things that I bought as a fashion statement… well, one of the first non-safety pinned, black-eyelinered, heavy-combat-booted fashion statements (we all had our stage, right?). Here’s the story: this scarf is actually a table runner. I bought it at a fair-trade home goods store in Berkeley, one of those fancy places that I always imagine chic women plan parties in. I saw this folded in a corner, it’s beautiful pattern totally not being done justice by its place on the table. I immediately loved the faded colors, the coral pattern, and the soft gauziness of the light cotton. I marched right up to it, grabbed it off the table, and wrapped it around my neck; the saleswoman looked at me like I was Ariel, brushing my hair with a fork. She saw a rumpled young woman (I was 17 at the time, by the by) in dirty jeans and way too much makeup, wearing a table runner around her neck — but who cares! I saw a doorway into my future, into a style that made sense to me, that felt organic and authentic and wasn’t an affectation of some kind of personhood and lifestyle into which I never fit. I’m not saying that I bought the scarf/table runner and woke up the next day a new woman; it took years of learning and growing and trying and failing to get to the new woman you see in those pictures above. Sometimes all it takes is a nudge in the direction of your authentic self and, for me, it was this scarf.

This post is for the Fashion Beauty Friend Friday visual post sponsored this week by Ashley Getting Dressed. Check out the link — there are sure to other, way more amazing responses over there!

friendly Friday: dreaming and wishing and hoping

Now and again, when the trade winds blow just right, I spend my Fridays thinking about questions for the Fashion and Beauty Friends group that Katy at Modly Chic poses. This week, our topic comes from this thought: we all have dreams, goals, aspirations. Putting them down
on paper is often the first step to realizing those dreams. So!

1. Fess up – if you could do anything professionally what would it
be? I want to be an English professor, which is why I’m in a Ph.D. program. If I’m being really specific, I want to teach at a small but rigorous liberal arts college, teaching upper division English courses in postmodernism and literary theory and working in the composition program, both as a teacher and as an administrator, working to make composition programs better and more useful. I want to have small class sizes and actually teach my own classes, but I also want to have time to devote to my own research and to conferencing, publishing, writing, etc. I want to live near the campus (preferably in the Pacific Northwest or some other wonderful place that isn’t LA) so that I can invite students over to my house once in a while for coffee and cake and literary conversation. I want to be involved in campus clubs and events, as an advisor perhaps for the English honor society or the campus feminist club, and I want to sing in a faculty choir. I want to defeat the two-body problem and have a few dogs. I want to be the kind of mentor that I so loved as an undergrad and be really and passionately involved in my students’ lives while also continuing to push myself as a scholar.
2. What draws you to this? Oy. Well. I was an actress for a long time, most of my childhood in fact, and it took me a while to realize that though I love performing, I wasn’t intellectually stimulated by the work; I like to think about how a play works rhetorically as much as I like to perform it. This lead naturally to academia, which is intellectual theatre through and through. I like reading and thinking and talking about things and researching and teaching and writing and thinking some more and staying up late and getting lost in books and drinking too much coffee and getting caught up in an idea and reading and reading and reading. So really, I have nothing else to do with those desires.
3. When did you first start dreaming about this ideal? It wasn’t until I was in my junior year of undergrad that I realized I loved academia and wanted to be a part of it forever. But once I realized that I had what it takes (and I do still wonder all the time if I have what it takes), then I was on the path and nothing was going to stop me.
4. What’s holding you back from going all in? I am all in! Honestly, this is not a reasonable thing for anyone to do, this whole Ph.D. thing. If there was anything else I could do or loved to do, then I would try to do that, because I’m looking down the barrel at a long, hard slog through my doctorate and into an uncertain future that carries no guarantee of a job or a career or even a paycheck once I’m done. Here’s what a Ph.D. looks like: I’m already thousands of dollars in debt from my undergraduate degree. I’ll spend 5 or 6 years here getting paid subsistence-level wages to teach the classes professors don’t want to touch, taking really difficult seminars, getting my ass handed to me by professors, taking a round of brutal exams, sitting oral exams, and then writing a dissertation. After I defend that thing (which, by the by, should be anywhere from 300 to 500 pages long), I’ll be sent out into the job market where hopefully I’ll land a tenure-track professorship somewhere in the country I want to live and at an institution that I want to work for and near enough to wherever my partner (also a Ph.D.) landed that I can make a life there. Oy. So I’m all in, baby, whether it’s a wise choice or not.

This picture accurately sums up my feelings on the Ph.D. process: I can run screaming from this huge thing with claws and teeth that wants to tear me apart, or I can fight it back as hard and try to rip it up before it gets me, or I can embrace it and love it and try to make something beautiful out of it. I’m working on living the latter choice.

5. Sometimes the first step is the hardest… what’s one step you can
take now on the way to realizing your dream? I’ve just got to keep working, one step at a time, towards a future that I can feel proud of. If I try to think about the big picture (see above), then I get al bogged down in the overwhelming craziness of it all. Instead, I try to just think one year ahead at a time — this year I’ll take some classes, teach some classes, speak at some conferences, begin crafting my exams reading list, etc. — and not get too fixated on what’s coming in two years, three years, four insane years on. That’ll happen on it’s own, so my job is to be here, where I am, now and let my future work itself out on its own.

daily dose: restful Friday of fun

Tasks
1. craft, musicals, and snacks party with some lovely friends

Trappings

oops, caught me admiring my strong legs — gotta find joy in yourself, right!

skirt — thrifted shirt — Old Navy, ancient shoes — White Mountain (new babies!) scarf — vintage

Tales

Today is my day off and I plan on enjoying it! Some friends are coming over for a crafting-musicals-yummy-food fest and I am really looking forward to just hanging out and laughing a bunch and drinking ice tea and making pretty bits and baubles. I felt a little silly this morning when I was getting dressed, thinking “I must look way too fancy for sitting around in my living room!” but the truth is, a flowy skirt is great for sitting on the floor in, so comfy and loose. And these shoes? No way I’m taking these shoes off — they’re the first fully new thing I’ve bought in a long time and they are perfection. Now I know I’ve got to back a statement like that up, so let’s get a closeup of them:

Oh, beauties. Seriously, I’ve been wanting a pair of clog-ish sandals all summer and the other day, while out shopping, I happened upon these, marked down 40%. Love at first sight! And not only were they seriously reasonable of price, they are seriously comfortable to wear. I feel like I could walk forever in them! So even though I’m just sitting around the house, I decided they should come along with me. And they’re so gorgeous, I decided they needed a beautiful pedicure to compliment them. I think crazy orange (or, as Essie calls it, “Geranium”) is the perfect summer color, you know? So cheerful I can’t help but smile! If you want to see more creative and fun mani and pedi experiments, check out Lifestyles of the Thrifty and Shameless where there’s a whole manicure party happening!

So how do you all celebrate your days off?

Friendly Friday: uniformed + 17 of 30-ish

The lovely Katy Rose at Modly Chic links up fashion and beauty bloggers via the FBFF google group, asking weekly questions about blogging and life. Check it out here. This week, Katy asks “What is an outfit formula or the typical ‘you’ uniform. The items you easily reach for. The easy-to-create look that is oh so you.”

1. What’s your go-to outfit formula?

2. How did you come about this formula? Trial and error? Frugality? The desire to not have 18 year old boys looking down my shirt when I’m trying to teach them what’s problematic about using the passive voice or when a semicolon is appropriate? Genetics — my mom has an insane scarf collection, so could it be a birthright?
3. Do you have different formulas for different occasions in your
life? Definitely. I have certain looks that I wear for when I work retail (jeans, blouse without cleavage, comfortable shoes), when I teach (the above look), for when I’m in class (the above, but with the option for more or less comfortable / grungy clothes).
4. Has it morphed over the years? Certainly! I mean, I think I’m still in the process of morphing it and I’m assuredly still in the process of working through my professional wardrobe and finding ways to dress both appropriately, creatively, and responsibly while teaching college freshman. That’s, you know, what this whole blog is about: the process of gaining confidence in how I present myself to my students, in class, and as a graduate student / instructor. But beyond just the particular challenges of my working wardrobe, I can firmly say that my style and my go-to looks have evolved as I’ve grown, both in age and in relationship to myself. The older I get, the more connected I get to my path, the more engaged I get in living my life fully, the more I feel comfortable not only in my clothing but in my skin, in my life, in my self.
5. Which other blogger’s outfit formula would you like to swipe? Hmm. Well, to be honest, I read a lot of blogs and dearly love my blog friends, so much so that I couldn’t pick just one. I love Kimi‘s spunkiness, Tania‘s glorious nerd-chic, Ana‘s amazing color pallets, how Monkeyface‘s outfits are so expressive of her personality, Keiko‘s unbelievable makeup and hair, Audrey‘s simple and effortlessly modern looks, and how all of the Chics juggle dissertating, teaching, and living while still looking undeniably fab. I would gladly trade and/or pillage all those wardrobes (and more — check out my blogroll, because it’s filled with fabulousness).

But you know what? I’d keep every single simple piece of today’s outfit, my 17th of 30-ish, which may or may not be totally the opposite of my “go-to” described above but is nonetheless one of my favorite casual looks to wear on a fun day off: comfy jeans, simple tee, colorful cardigan — done and done! El B, his sister, and I have big plans for today: bike rides and berry picking and painting pottery and Thai food and lots more! So enjoy your Friday, my darlings, because I certainly will.

jeans — Old Navy, thrifted shirt — ancient sweater — thrifted shoes — Merona, thrifted

friendly foodie friday

The brilliant Katy Rose at Modly Chic links up fashion and beauty bloggers via the FBFF google group, asking weekly questions about blogging and life. Check it out here. This week, Katy asked for us all to share our favorite seasonal recipes!

I’m actually super excited about this, because I love to cook and love gathering delicious recipes, so I’m really looking forward to seeing what you all recommend. But I’ve been really stuck on what recipe I want to send to you all. I mean, these are supposed to be seasonal recipes, so my best soup recipes are out the window. Same with all the yummy stir fries I make year round, because they’re not really summery, you know? So here’s what I’ve decided to share:

So this smoothie is my go-to delicious breakfast for the summer. I don’t know about the rest of you, but sometimes in the mornings, I’m too wound up to eat. I have my cup of coffee, of course (without coffee, I’m pretty sure the world doesn’t exist), but then when I think about eating something like oatmeal or cereal or something else I just get… overwhelmed. But a refreshing smoothie gets me going on even the worst of mornings. One of the best things, too, is that with the two different kinds of nuts, this smoothie has real staying power, with protein and fiber to keep you full for a good long while. Some people like to add protein powder, but I’ve read a lot about how difficult those things are to digest and how little you actually end up processing, so I like to use fresh ingredients instead. The nuts add a great texture and a flavor and are overall really good for you. Yum. And the fruit? Just throw in anything that’s in season and it’ll be delicious.

I can’t wait to see what you all post for delicious recipes — I’m always looking for something new to try! If you’re not a part of the FBFF group, I’d love to see your best summer recipe anyhow. What’s your favorite summer food?